TMOL is the uplifting story of videogaming as seen through the eyes of a friendly, learning-disabled, small town...hero. It wasn't always so. Most folks couldn't see past his drooling, and even those who could couldn't have predicted that he would be the one to teach the life lessons that finally broke down the societal walls put in place by the curmudgeonly school council, let alone teach the subterranasaur mutants how to respect their warm-blooded, sky-breathing brothers. Angie claims that after high school, she wasn't at all surprised by a retard teaching people, but even she had to give respect to the mutant thing. Ask the cows, now that they can talk, and they'll say that except for the unfortunate business with the living volcano of gold, they knew how it would turn out all along. Deep down, we know that's just one of things they're saying so that we won't eat them, but it's still really poignant, and damned if the whole emotional tenor of it doesn't make the meat taste better.

TMOL is now written solely by Matthew Gallant, and not the Sumerian sun god Utu, who only did minor scripting work and commanded that the About page "set forth a frenzied air", lest he wield his many-toothed saw to rend and cleave Matthew's copy of Foley and van Dam that was once touched by John Carmack. Sometimes Matthew dreams of going back to his orignal art, painting on the canvas that is his '85 Astro, but he's really pretty satisfied with the current motif, bikini woman in repose with the grey wolf under the full moon. He might paint some vampire fangs on Bikini Woman, or change the desert into a forest, but that's it.

Site Organization

The sections of the site are as follows:

The Newswire: Editorial comment on gaming's top stories and the state of the industry. Updates available on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, guaranteed.

Features: Essays of utmost importance, as they become available.

Mini-Reviews: No matter what Avault says, nobody wants to read a 3,000 word review of Big Mutha Truckers. Each mini-review on TMOL is nothing less than a concise nugget of truth.

The Buzz 6 from Galaxy Zero: Every week, Space Marquise Alejandro uses his civilization's advanced technology to scan the brainwaves generated by the six games I am thinking most about, and amplifies their unique power signature to keep his home planet from falling into a black hole. In exchange, he tells me what those games are via telepathy. I put them in order myself, though.

Old Stuff

If you're looking for the archives of the old version of the site, click here.


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